Death and a New Life

When Mali took her own life last April, the shock and finality of her actions sent waves of anguish over my entire family. Not just my family but our extended family.

She lived her whole life in 14 short years.  It still baffles me and can bring me to my knees in a flash.

My father in law passed away yesterday. He had been battling cancer for many years. He never referred to me as his daughter in law or I as my father in law  he was my Dad and I his daughter.  I will always be grateful for that.  The last 29 years he was my Dad.

Our entire family supported him through his time of struggle. Each family member reacting and responding to his impending death the best way they could. Some actively and others from a distance.

It reminds me that we are all human with our reactions to the dying. It doesn’t make us saints or terrible people who couldn’t actively participate to the way some may think is appropriate. Everyone grieves in their own way.

I was so privileged to spend his final night with him. He became unresponsive around 330 that afternoon. I got to speak to him on the phone about 20 minutes before he passed into the phase of active dying.

I watched old tv shows with him that night. I wiped away tears and kept his lips hydrated with my sisters chapstick. I talked to him. Sometimes begging him to open his eyes and talk to me one last time. I wiped his forehead with a cool towel

I prayed a lot of night.  I started saying the rosary, when his nurse came in to check on him and then pulled a chair up next to me, pulled her rosary beads out of her pocket and jumped right in to recite the 5 decades with me  I was so touched by this act.  She came back later and recited the divine chaplet of mercy with me.  We listened to classical music.  We listened to the two songs he wants played during his cremation.  I sang Ave Maria to him in Latin.  (sorry Dad if it was a horrible rendition) 😂😂😂

There is no way I can describe how being with him that last night than noneother than a privilege. He meant the world to me. I love him.

The one comfort I can draw from all of this is in my heart is I know he is with Mali now. It brings peace to me. He is with his family that proceeded him. What a great day in Heaven that is. Free of pain and with his loved ones.

Hug the people you love and tell them you love them every chance you get. Life is so short. 14 years or 77 years. It doesn’t matter about time. Only the love we have for one another. Don’t judge or put yourselves on false platforms.  Be kind to one another.  It all starts at home.  These are a few of things that Dad taught me.  How blessed am I?

 

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