Half a Year, One Day At a Time.

Today marks 6 months since Mali left us. It has been a hard path to walk. Our family has stumbled, crawled, cried and suffered pain. Unbelievable pain. The ocean of tears we have cried could raise the sea level. We have bargained, begged and pleaded.
Throughout this darkness and the immense sadness that dropped on us like a house, we have found love.

Love in our family and friends, strangers, new friends.  People who have been right where we are and those that have supported us through this fog, not having gone through losing a child but, are stilling willing to hold our hand and guide us in the dark, getting us to safer ground.  I have nothing but love and gratitude for these people.

Thank you for being kind to me when I can’t be kind to myself.  Thank you for listening to me cry and rant.  Thank you for not judging me when I took everything too far and you still loved me.

God has to sometimes shake my soul so I can be aware of all the love around me. Including his love. God has never left me through any of this.

6 months ago I didn’t t just lose my daughter, I lost my dearest friend.  I’m a matter of minutes she was gone.

Im still trying to make sense of something I will never be able to make sense of.  My life is a mess.  Every day though, I get up, pull myself up by my bootstraps, pick up where I left off the previous day and start again.

Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.  C.S Lewis

 

 

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