I woke up today to a overcast, slightly cool morning. Not much of a breeze.  Just calm and no extremes outside on my lopsided, slightly dangerous deck.

This is a first for me. My heart and my soul today feels like it matches the environment surrounding me.

No chaos, no crying, no anguish. Just a break in the storm and God knows I need a flipping safe harbor.  Even if it’s only a port visit.

Two of my children came to visit at the same time last night. I was so pleased to see them. My 22 year old daughter Mandy just in from California and my 26 year old son Timothy just in from work.

I made a pot of curry and rice.  We all had a nice visit. We felt like a family again.  No crying, no anger.  It was easy.  We laughed and I hugged each of those kids several times, sniffing their hair they way all of Moms do.  There was love.

Did I feel guilty about our Doodleloo not being there to share this with us?  Not one bit.  She was there. I finally, after all the time that has passed was able to feel her.

I am grateful for that small gift.

Grief comes in waves. The loss of our daughter will always be searing and awful. Some days it is less than others.

Some of my readers are going through the same type of loss.  Today, if I could give you anything, it would be for a few moments of peace. A break in the typhoon so you can breathe for a minute or two.  Mostly I wish you love.  Hang in there and don’t drown. We are right here with you.

#Mali, #Brittany, #Dani, #Carrisa

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